Is this a thing…

A question I ask myself all the time: “Am I just a weirdo, or is this a thing?”

As a new’ish dad, of all the silly things I think about is one that has been around for a while:

What’s the proper etiquette for opening up a bag? Not like a shopping bag or travel bag. I mean like a bag of food … a bag of chips. Is there a right way and a wrong way to open up a bag. Can you open up a bag of chips or popcorn wrong and ruin the actual contents and fun of whats in the bag.

What is the proper …. “bagiquette.”

Take some Edamame … I opened this up on Saturday and it just felt wrong:

 It felt wrong, because it was wrong. That’s just lousy bag opening right there. No “clean rip” … instead a rip down the center seam but a “corner catcher” because of the lack of the clean rip.

This stuff matters. You cant drive with one hand and feed yourself edamame or sunflower seeds with this setup.

Even more so when you are walking around the supermarket listening to audio books (like all the cool people do) and trying to eat this edamame you have to pour it out in your hand, but the corner catcher means that you just end up spilling stuff on the floor and making a huge mess.

So what do kids do. Well mostly it seems like they just rip down the center seam – I have tried to teach my kid the “bunch and pull” method, but alas no dad is perfect. The bunch and pull is not as good as the clean rip for small bags, but after years of practice I do believe that the bunch and pull is superior for large bags of chips, or bags with large items (tortilla chips) as opposed to small bags like the green edamame bag.

But when you don’t teach the bunch and pull properly, you end up with something like this:

 

 

 

Just wrong on many levels. Not only would it offend the muses and most of the major philosophers of the last 2000 years, but it also it just tends to make a huge mess everywhere, and give extra treats to the dog in the process. No chip clip can save this poor technique. I don’t know if it should be taught in schools quite yet, since our education system likely has larger problems, but surely its a topic that has been neglected for far too long. And I do think it shows how far I have to go as a father and a husband.

So after thinking about this for a few days I humbly present to you a new “clean corner rip.”

Hopefully this can be something that everyone can get behind and usher in a new era of bi-partisanship and “bagiquette” all across the land.

Or maybe I am just a weirdo.

So is this a thing?

-SDM